Entry tags:

genre: comedy, pairing: jon'n'"stephen", series: fake news, ~merry month of may

Title: Nice Red Uniforms
Series: TDS/TCR
Characters/Pairings: Jon, "Stephen"
Rating: G
Disclaimer: See the index.

For seagullsong, who prompted "NOBODY EXPECTS THE COLBERT INQUISITION!" (Depends on you having seen the sketch.)



Nice Red Uniforms


"Yes, they do."

"What? Who?"

"Everybody. Angry, loud, unreasonable interrogation based on unflinchingly dogmatic beliefs is your whole schtick. It's not like people don't see it coming."

"Well...maybe some of them don't. You know, Jon, there are some poor deprived souls out there who have never even seen the show! I'm not sure where they are, exactly - probably holed up in remote monasteries in Tibet, or something - but they do exist."

"I know, Stephen. I've even met some of them. But no matter who they are, they sign a waiver before interviews explaining that they know what they're getting into."

"They do?"

"They do."

"And it says how I'm going to interrogate them?"

"It does."

"Could we maybe take that bit out?"

"Nope. Legal insisted."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"...Jon?"

"Hm?"

"Does that waiver have to say what I'll be wearing during the interviews?"

"Uh, I don't think so."

"Great! Thanks!"

"Hang on! What did I just agree to? Stephen? Stephen!"

"Can't talk now, Jon. I need to make another call. Bye!"